THE PERFECT BIG SURPRISE

In TWO Days, I hope to have a scrapbook done for my daughters 13th birthday. The story that is going in the book is below. Thank you to everyone--all our family, my sister, my parents, all our friends (new and old) who have encouraged me to appreciate the best Big Surprise I will ever, ever have. And most especially to Steve who, I believe, was truly sent from God to show me what true love is and to teach me what is really important in this journey--I love you.

Once upon a time in a land not so far away, there lived a wonderful family of five. There was a Mommy, a Daddy, a Big Brother, a Sister and a Little Brother. They all lived very happily together and each had their own “specialness”. Little Brother was a funny little boy. He was always putting on a show and he loved to move a lot. Sister was a very sweet, smart young lady. She liked things “just so” and she was a great helper to everyone. Big Brother was a caring and dependable young man. He took things very seriously, but liked to play with his sister and brother and friends too. Daddy was a very hard worker and always had time to wrestle with the brothers, help with homework and play pretend with the sister. Mommy was busy. Mommy took care of her three little kids all the time. Sometimes she took care of other kids too. She cleaned and cooked and made sure everyone brushed their teeth.

Big Brother, Sister and Little Brother had many friends and Mommy and Daddy were friends with those friend’s parents too. Mommy and Daddy liked having friends and family nearby. In the summer time many of these friends would get together at a swimming pool and let the kids play together all day long. It was lots of fun and they named their group of friends The Village. When each summer ended The Village friends would go their own separate ways and see each other now and then until the next summer rolled around.

One year there was a special event that brought all The Village people and many other friends and all sorts of family together at a different time.

One fall Mommy started to feel a little different. After several weeks of feeling different Mommy decided to go see Doctor. Doctor had some very special news for Mommy—there was going to be a Big Surprise. That night when Daddy returned home with Sister, Mommy told Daddy the very special news about the Big Surprise. Daddy was very surprised too. Mommy kept a secret---the secret was that Mommy was very, very worried about the Big Surprise. Mommy was worried that she wouldn’t be able to do a good job taking care of the Big Surprise. Mommy worried that she was too old and too tired to have such a Big Surprise. And, Mommy was a little scared that her old tired body might not be healthy and young enough to have the Big Surprise.

Right away Daddy knew that Mommy was worried and he knew just what to do to make Mommy feel better. He told her the Big Surprise was a wonderful surprise. He reassured her that she would do a great job and he, of course, would always help her. He did his very best to show Mommy that he wasn’t worried at all…even though Mommy knew he was a little bit.

Time passed and Mommy and Daddy kept the Big Surprise a secret for quite some time. One cloudy cool day in the winter, Mommy and Daddy told the kids that they were going on a picnic in the park. The kids were excited and helped gather everything for their fun day. When they got to the park the wonderful family of five played Frisbee, played on the swings and played ball. Then they gathered together, spread the blanket on the ground and began to eat their lunches. It began to get very cold and Mommy and Daddy knew that it was time to share their special news about the Big Surprise.

Mommy and Daddy asked the kids what they would think if they had another brother or sister. Baby Brother thought it would be great so that he wouldn’t be the baby anymore. Big Brother thought it would be nice too since he liked having a younger sister and brother. Sister thought it was just fine the way the wonderful family of five was now. When Mommy asked her if she’d be ok with another brother or sister, Sister thought and said she probably would, but she’d be GREAT if she had a little sister. So Mommy and Daddy told their three kids about the Big Surprise---that this wonderful family of five would soon be a wonderful family of six! Big Brother didn’t believe Mommy and Daddy at first and had lots and lots of questions. Little Brother was very, very excited and jumped around a lot. Sister was excited too and began planning right away for a new baby sister. And everyone wanted to know where the Big Surprise was going to sleep.

After the new year had come and gone, it was time to tell more people about the Big Surprise. Most of the time, they let Big Brother, Sister or Little Brother do the telling…it was nicer that way. Everyone was very, very surprised. Some family and friends were more surprised than others and some had very surprising reactions. But eventually everyone got used to the idea of the Big Surprise joining the wonderful family of five and soon everyone began to be very, very excited about the Big Surprise.

One day Mommy had a special appointment. She and Daddy were going to find out if the Big Surprise was going to be a boy or a girl surprise. Mommy decided that it would be a good idea for Sister to go also. Sister would need some extra time to think about things if the new Big Surprise was going to be a Boy Surprise and Mommy wanted to make sure that Sister had plenty of time before the Big Surprise came. So, they all three went to Doctor’s office, A very nice nurse took them to a dark room where she took pictures of the Big Surprise in Mommy’s tummy. The pictures were hard for Sister, Mommy and Daddy to make out, but then the nice nurse pointed out the parts of the Big Surprise and Mommy, Daddy and Sister were very, very quiet while watching the Big Surprise move all about. Mommy reminded the nice nurse that they would like to know if it was a Boy Surprise or a Girl Surprise and the nurse exclaimed, “oh! It’s definitely a GIRL Surprise!” Sister cried happy, happy tears and Mommy did too. Daddy was happy that all the girls were happy.

Soon all the friends and all the family and all The Village knew of the new GIRL Surprise that was coming. There were fun parties and special parties called showers and great celebrations. Mommy and Daddy were getting excited too. Secretly, Mommy still worried a bit, and secretly Daddy did too. But everyone pitched in to help make things as easy for Mommy and Daddy as they could. Big Brother and Little Brother helped move their rooms together. Sister helped get GIRL Surprise’s baby room set up and decorated. People came with diapers and toys for the new GIRL Surprise. Grandparents and Aunts helped take care of Big Brother, Little Brother and Sister. And soon it was summer time again and the time came for the GIRL Surprise to come.

Mommy had done the very best job she could of being healthy and ready for the new GIRL Surprise. Daddy was calm and ready too. Early one morning they left for the hospital. When they got there, Mommy was so happy to see some of The Village friends and her Very Special Friend from Days Done By. Since Mommy was still a little scared, it was good for Mommy to have people there to help take her mind off that part. Daddy was always nervous at that part too! But soon it was time for Doctor to help Mommy get the GIRL Surprise. Daddy put his handsome gown, hat and slippers on and off they went. Mommy had asked for her favorite Special Nurse Friend to be in the room when the GIRL Surprise came. When Mommy was rolled in the room, there was Nurse Friend and that made Mommy very happy. Nurse Friend helped Daddy not be so nervous too!

Soon Doctor came in and asked if everyone was ready. Mommy sure hoped they all were! Mommy liked to try and be funny during these scary times. Daddy didn’t like being funny so much at scary times. But Doctor told Mommy and Daddy everything was going to be ok and Doctor began his work. It wasn’t very long before GIRL Surprise made her big beautiful entrance into the room! She was perfect in every way and Mommy, Daddy and Nurse Friend cried happy tears of joy! Mommy got to hold GIRL Surprise for just a bit but Doctor needed to finish his work. So Daddy was the lucky one who got to leave the room and carry the new baby GIRL Surprise down the hall to meet her family, friends, Big Brother, Little Brother and one very excited Sister.

When Mommy, Daddy and all three kids found out that they were going to welcome a new GIRL Surprise into their family, they all put their heads together and they had come up with a name for the new GIRL Surprise. Her name was Anne Marie.

Mommy stayed at the hospital with the Big Surprise, Anne Marie and just held her a whole lot. After several days Daddy came to take Anne Marie and Mommy home. Mommy was a little tired for a while when she got home, but she never got tired of waking up in the middle of the night to take care of Anne Marie. She would pick her up and hold her and rock her and Anne Marie loved falling asleep on top of Mommy. Mommy was not worried anymore. The wonderful family of five was now a wonderful family of six and they all loved Anne Marie more than they could have ever imagined. Everyone made sure that Anne Marie was always cared for.

Something extra special happened that summer that the Big Surprise, Anne Marie came--all the friends and all the family and all The Village and Mommy, Daddy, Big Brother, Sister and Little Brother all felt a little closer and a little more love and a little more joy because of The Big Surprise. They all wanted to take care of Anne Marie and she brought joy to everyone who was around her. She was happy and content and fearless. She spent her first few weeks being with her family and meeting The Village friends and learning to love water and sun and people. She went to parties. She slept in her swing. She was the best Big Surprise that anyone could have ever wished for.

But that’s not the end of the story…something very, very strange happened. One day Mommy woke up and found a 13 year old in Anne Marie’s bed. Mommy looked around and wondered, “what on earth happened to that wonderful Big Surprise Anne Marie?” And then Mommy heard someone who sounded a bit like the Big Surprise Anne Marie say, “Mom, I’m here…I’m just a little older now” And Mommy turned around to see a beautiful, strong, intelligent, loving, friendly, gentle young lady. At that moment, Mommy knew that young lady was the most magnificent and amazing Big Surprise that any wonderful family of six would ever be blessed with. So Mommy hugged the Young Lady Anne Marie and said “I Love You”. Mommy hoped the Young Lady Anne Marie would say I Love You back…

And she did.

The Beginning.

Now THIS is EXCITEMENT

I wasn't "allowed" to divulge my exciting news. It happened May 17th. It was a nice and pleasant evening when all the sudden the phone rang...and who could it be but my oldest daughter...and what on earth did she have to tell us other than that she was now formally, officially ENGAGED! We weren't even allowed to divulge said information to family members for an entire week so that the newly engaged couple could come tell everyone in person. Do you have any idea how underwhelmed the electrician, nail tech and landscape guy were with my exciting secret?

We couldn't be more happy for her. Of course we had a bit of a head's up on this one since her nearly perfect now-fiance had come to our house a mere two weeks ago (which seemed more like two months to me!) to ask her father's blessing that he be allowed to ask her to marry him. How totally wonderful is that? I wanted to say "sweet", but "sweet" is just not it. "Sweet" is not serious and committed enough. "Sweet" is just cute. This was wonderful, this was responsible, this was, and is serious business. This is the kind of wonderful, marvelous business that makes a mom cry--tears of happiness, tears of joy, and yes, a few bittersweet tears of days gone by.

It's interesting. Do I think these kids of mine are going to morph back into their toddler years again so that I can relive and re"do" any of those mistakes I may have made? Is it possible that if life did not move forward for them, that I could somehow stop, or even better-reverse time to live those forgotten, unappreciated moments that escaped me? I think that's where the tears come from. They are happy tears. Happy for her. Happy for her happiness. Happy for her determination to make the right choices. But there is a twinge of sadness, of wishing I could go back, stop time, make everything slow down. Had I just known. Had I listened to all those old people who told me that very thing. Had I understood how quickly it would all make sense. Well, coulda, shoulda, woulda's always leave you hanging with that not-quite-finished feeling, but that's life.

Anyhow since the announcement of said engagement I have succeeded in bringing her to tears only once (that I know of and accept responsibility for). We all knew it was coming. We all knew "mom would eventually screw up this happy time" and far be it from me to let everyone down. I did have to have the "are-you-sure-you-MUST-have-this-wedding-only-a-mere-three-weeks-or-so-after-not-one-but-TWO-graduations-and-during-the-most-expensive-oops-i-mean-popular-time-of-year?" talk with both her and her fiance. I gotta say, this guy she's picked is good...he is very, very good! Upon the onset of tears I, of course, felt very guilty (yes, really I did). He sat very composed, listened carefully to my reasoning, nodded his head all the while patting my lovely daughter's leg. When I realized I had nearly reached full "lose 'em" potential, I quickly suggested that the subject be changed, they think about what I had said and we go inside and talk about fun wedding stuff.

Within 48 hours she called and they had thought about it and no, did not want to change their date. OK...alrighty...mom is going to have a little breakdown during her eldest daughters most precious moment in life to date...great...this is great. Quickly, I pulled myself together and thought NO--YOU ARE NOT! You are MOM, you CAN and, more importantly, you WILL do this! You will overcome for the greater good! You will formulate a plan, move into action, you will CONQUER! And with the confidence of a great leader, KAMINSKI-BIDDICK WEDDING TWO THOUSAND AND TEN, kicked into high gear!

To date we have: Secured ceremony venue (our church of course); Met with ceremony planner; Secured reception venue; Met with and secured caterer, baker, photographer, music & chair-bow vendor (a seemingly meaningless, but ever so important detail); Had first round of engagement pictures taken; Composed guest list; Chosen Save-a-Date announcements (ready to be rolled off the press); Decided upon invitations (ready to be rolled off the press); Designed and posted wedding website; Submitted engagement announcement for local newspaper; Purchased miscellaneous favors and bridesmaids gifts; Chosen bridesmaids dresses; hosted a small engagement party; and said YES TO THE DRESS, measured, ordered and paid for!

I can go into immense detail on these fun activities (and I won't unless begged to do so), but suffice it to say the wedding industry is NOT caught up in the economic downturn folks...not! Regardless, the process has been relatively pain-free--no, that is not true, it has been TOTALLY pain-free. I think to both of our surprise and amazement, Sam and I have had the best time doing this together. I cannot really think of anything much more "bonding" than participating in and preparing with your daughter for her most important journey...away from her parents. As mentioned earlier, a very bittersweet and sometimes surreal experience for me, "the mom", but one I wouldn't trade for anything. I am lucky to have an extremely level-headed daughter who has chosen the most magnificent guy on planet earth. Truly, all you girls out there, take lessons from this girl--she calculated cleverly and waited patiently and hit the husband-to-be jackpot! (I have that little fluttery happy feeling just typing that!)

Now having said all that "he's a great guy" stuff. We are embarking on a journey here very soon that will be the most telling of all....Biddick Family Vacation (think Griswolds), complete with all family members packed into the burb for a 14 hour road trip to the beach. THIS will be a true test of said "great guy's" stamina, patience, sense of humor and bladder control. More to come later.