WARNING TO FUTURE SON-IN-LAW

So, we're leaving for vacation in 35 hours. No, I'm not packed. This is far more important. As noted in a previous post, my daughter is getting married. Her wonderful fiance is coming with us. The car ride is 14 hours long. We are not that bad of a family, but we are a family. I felt obligated to send him the following:


Hello Dear Future Son-In-Law!

I am writing this to let you know how excited I am for next week AND that you are coming! I know Sam is excited ;-) Now, as your mother-in-law to be I would be remiss to not inform you of the situation you are about to enter. Let me start by saying that you will see Biddicks at their best, and you will surely see Biddicks at their worst…hopefully not their very worse. These are the things you need to be fully prepared to witness and deal with: cramped legs from an exhaustingly long car ride; arguments over music, movies, personal space and seat arrangement; whining about driver—regardless of who the driver is; there will be personal character attacks, accusations and bold-face lying; there will be few stops associated with anything besides “necessity”; and there could be foul odors, all of which will likely be blamed on the “new guy”…you. That’s just the car ride.

When we get there, there will be discussion on where and how to park; the best method of unpacking the car; who should be carrying what; there should be some critique and complaining about something to do with our accommodations; there will rarely be a time when everyone is hungry or tired all at the same time; there could be outright yelling matches and perhaps even a slap or two (however this is unlikely—but always possible); there will be periodic foul language; there will be nagging regarding “helping”; disagreements on activities, food, and, again, seating arrangements; there will be races for the bathroom and lines waiting for the bathroom; and there will be the proverbial “time-out” for various individuals. And, you my dear get to be in on all of that!

Having forewarned you of said “issues”, I will now let you in on some other less distasteful things that may or may not happen. There could be some type of minor catastrophe that pulls everyone together in a very interesting and comical way (i.e., losing only pair of prescription glasses in ocean, car breaking down, allergic reaction to jelly fish stings), there will likely be some decent enough food; very likely game-playing will occur several times; a good and healthy amount of chastising, teasing, mimicking and ribbing will occur; reading, laying and/or sitting around doing nothing, sunbathing, ocean romping, beach walking will all occur; 89 trips to Publix will be made for the BEST Light Caesar Salad Dressing on the planet and other various “forgotten” items; inordinate amounts of time will be spent at the corner junk (a/k/a – souvenir) shops finding just the right t-shirt; more games will be played; more beach time; more laying around will be done and lots and lots of laughing, cajoling, smiling and more laughing…hopefully!

At least that’s the idea for these fun-filled family adventures. We’ll see. But, we’re all really glad you’re coming! And I, by no means want to scare you off, but I did want to make sure that you had the opportunity to come down with a mysterious terrible communicable disease, just in case it all sounds too crazy and kind of scary! I’m guessing you won’t cause you’re a stand-up guy and all. But I sure hope you still like us when it’s all over!!

Looking forward to our week and really glad you are joining us!

Stephanie


It's like a bad test where set-ups to fail are everywhere. I really don't expect him to be the one taking the test...it's more like "us" taking the test...and poor daughter! We'll do our best though. I know he'll be fine, but maybe I should have waited to buy the dress AFTER this, just in case!

Now THIS is EXCITEMENT

I wasn't "allowed" to divulge my exciting news. It happened May 17th. It was a nice and pleasant evening when all the sudden the phone rang...and who could it be but my oldest daughter...and what on earth did she have to tell us other than that she was now formally, officially ENGAGED! We weren't even allowed to divulge said information to family members for an entire week so that the newly engaged couple could come tell everyone in person. Do you have any idea how underwhelmed the electrician, nail tech and landscape guy were with my exciting secret?

We couldn't be more happy for her. Of course we had a bit of a head's up on this one since her nearly perfect now-fiance had come to our house a mere two weeks ago (which seemed more like two months to me!) to ask her father's blessing that he be allowed to ask her to marry him. How totally wonderful is that? I wanted to say "sweet", but "sweet" is just not it. "Sweet" is not serious and committed enough. "Sweet" is just cute. This was wonderful, this was responsible, this was, and is serious business. This is the kind of wonderful, marvelous business that makes a mom cry--tears of happiness, tears of joy, and yes, a few bittersweet tears of days gone by.

It's interesting. Do I think these kids of mine are going to morph back into their toddler years again so that I can relive and re"do" any of those mistakes I may have made? Is it possible that if life did not move forward for them, that I could somehow stop, or even better-reverse time to live those forgotten, unappreciated moments that escaped me? I think that's where the tears come from. They are happy tears. Happy for her. Happy for her happiness. Happy for her determination to make the right choices. But there is a twinge of sadness, of wishing I could go back, stop time, make everything slow down. Had I just known. Had I listened to all those old people who told me that very thing. Had I understood how quickly it would all make sense. Well, coulda, shoulda, woulda's always leave you hanging with that not-quite-finished feeling, but that's life.

Anyhow since the announcement of said engagement I have succeeded in bringing her to tears only once (that I know of and accept responsibility for). We all knew it was coming. We all knew "mom would eventually screw up this happy time" and far be it from me to let everyone down. I did have to have the "are-you-sure-you-MUST-have-this-wedding-only-a-mere-three-weeks-or-so-after-not-one-but-TWO-graduations-and-during-the-most-expensive-oops-i-mean-popular-time-of-year?" talk with both her and her fiance. I gotta say, this guy she's picked is good...he is very, very good! Upon the onset of tears I, of course, felt very guilty (yes, really I did). He sat very composed, listened carefully to my reasoning, nodded his head all the while patting my lovely daughter's leg. When I realized I had nearly reached full "lose 'em" potential, I quickly suggested that the subject be changed, they think about what I had said and we go inside and talk about fun wedding stuff.

Within 48 hours she called and they had thought about it and no, did not want to change their date. OK...alrighty...mom is going to have a little breakdown during her eldest daughters most precious moment in life to date...great...this is great. Quickly, I pulled myself together and thought NO--YOU ARE NOT! You are MOM, you CAN and, more importantly, you WILL do this! You will overcome for the greater good! You will formulate a plan, move into action, you will CONQUER! And with the confidence of a great leader, KAMINSKI-BIDDICK WEDDING TWO THOUSAND AND TEN, kicked into high gear!

To date we have: Secured ceremony venue (our church of course); Met with ceremony planner; Secured reception venue; Met with and secured caterer, baker, photographer, music & chair-bow vendor (a seemingly meaningless, but ever so important detail); Had first round of engagement pictures taken; Composed guest list; Chosen Save-a-Date announcements (ready to be rolled off the press); Decided upon invitations (ready to be rolled off the press); Designed and posted wedding website; Submitted engagement announcement for local newspaper; Purchased miscellaneous favors and bridesmaids gifts; Chosen bridesmaids dresses; hosted a small engagement party; and said YES TO THE DRESS, measured, ordered and paid for!

I can go into immense detail on these fun activities (and I won't unless begged to do so), but suffice it to say the wedding industry is NOT caught up in the economic downturn folks...not! Regardless, the process has been relatively pain-free--no, that is not true, it has been TOTALLY pain-free. I think to both of our surprise and amazement, Sam and I have had the best time doing this together. I cannot really think of anything much more "bonding" than participating in and preparing with your daughter for her most important journey...away from her parents. As mentioned earlier, a very bittersweet and sometimes surreal experience for me, "the mom", but one I wouldn't trade for anything. I am lucky to have an extremely level-headed daughter who has chosen the most magnificent guy on planet earth. Truly, all you girls out there, take lessons from this girl--she calculated cleverly and waited patiently and hit the husband-to-be jackpot! (I have that little fluttery happy feeling just typing that!)

Now having said all that "he's a great guy" stuff. We are embarking on a journey here very soon that will be the most telling of all....Biddick Family Vacation (think Griswolds), complete with all family members packed into the burb for a 14 hour road trip to the beach. THIS will be a true test of said "great guy's" stamina, patience, sense of humor and bladder control. More to come later.