39 Hours and counting

How can the last 21--no TWENTY TWO years have gone by so fast? Honestly. It has just hit me while sitting here at 3:30 in the morning as thoughts of my daughters wedding in 39 hours awaken me. I have had little bouts of tears, thinking about her "leaving" us. I have had solemn moments of wondering if she'll be okay. I've thought about seeing her walk down that aisle with her dad. I've thought about seeing all our family and friends who we love so dearly when I enter the church. I've thought about parties, and invitations, and flowers, and clothing and food and decorations. Extra socks, programs, guestbooks, transportation, makeup, hair, appointments, schedules and photographers...but the thing I can't quite quit thinking about is something I saw a couple nights ago.

We were watching home movies from about fifteen years ago. My daughter was turning seven I think. I sat still that night and watched that video--I watched her open her birthday gifts, I watched her take care of her little brother, I watched her admire her older brother, I watched her excitement opening her gifts, I watched her hug me while I was filming all this and then I watched her open a card from her grandparents...

One of her granddads loved teasing her when she was little about "Dancing Goat". I'm not quite sure how all that started but, nonetheless she wasn't extremely fond of it. On this particular birthday she opened a "special" certificate from him that referenced the Dancing Goat. She looked at it with exasperation and promptly went over and gave that particular grandfather the "what for". We played it back three times to try and figure out exactly what she was saying and still couldn't get it! But by the end of her tongue-lashing (she was smiling the whole time) everyone was laughing, including Big Pa. She was praised for being such a good sport and she accepted that praise with the graciousness of a person far older than her seven years.

This same girl will be getting married in about 39 hours. She has been a true source of pride and joy for the last 22 years. She has been loving, kind and thoughtful the last 22 years. She has worked hard at every single thing she decided to do for the last 22 years. She has earned respect, admiration, friendship and true love over the last 22 years. She has been beautiful inside and out for the last 22 years. She has read, created, learned, experienced and soaked in as much life as possible for the last 22 years. She has done that with dignity, pride, respect and endless grace for the last 22 years. For the last 22 years, she has added countless treasured moments, years of fun, and unending love to the lives of her siblings and her father and me.

I watched that video and could have sworn that it had just happened. I had a true "rush" of memories flood my thoughts. It has made me feel somewhat helpless, as if her life is happening too fast. Just like mine, it is. So for the next 39 hours or so, I'm going to devote every minute I can in enjoying one of the most extraordinary blessings God has bestowed upon me for the last 22 years-my child.

Maybe He'll be kind enough to slow those 39 hours down a bit...or maybe He's already taught me the value of that time and now it's up to me to do my best to live these next 39 hours to the fullest. I will.