Downhill, On Wheels

Some of you are going to think that because of my recent posts inferring my less than perky and attentive demeanor of late, that I am making this next one up. Maybe someone out there can vouch for this to verify that, in fact, I am not. Yesterday, in one of my many, many miles of driving, I was headed west on 71st Street. I've lived here a long time. I remember when 71st was truly "out in the country". I've seen 71st Street grow and grow and reshape in different sections. I've seen a lot of weird stuff on 71st Street before. I've seen weird stuff that was temporary and gone by the time I drove back by ten minutes later and I've seen weird semi-permanent stuff that's lingered for days, sometimes weeks. But to date, in my nearly 49 years of off and on living in this town, I have never, EVER seen a guy (whom I will refrain from calling "Jesus") walking down 71st carrying a cross on wheels.

Yep, I saw it with my own eyes. There were many things about it that I found terribly interesting, but my first thought was, "my gosh, I need to pull over and find out what the heck this guy is doing and does he need a hand". Honestly! That was my first thought and I got tickled thinking how that conversation might go:

"Sir....SIRRRR....Yes, YOU sir....you with the cross...yeah, could you hold on a sec" (he was moving at quite some pace--I decided it was not so much that he was in a hurry as it was that he was going downhill and carrying the most massive cross I've ever seen). "...uh, sir, uh..do you need a hand with that?" (well, DUH! He's carrying a CROSS--a big, heavy cross...of course he needs a hand with it!) Or should it be "excuse me sir, but what on God's green earth are you doing?" (clearly, the answer is: Carrying a cross down the street)

I didn't stop. I gawked as best as one can gawk going 40 mph. Here's the visual: Caucasian male, approximately mid-to-late 30's, blue jeans, t-or polo type shirt, shorter light brown hair. The guy is walking on the north side of Sheridan headed east. And, well, he's carrying a cross. Now before we go any further please let me disclose that I am a full-fledged cross supporter. Truly--I have no cross issues. It's just not every day when you see a cross of this magnitude. It appeared to be made out of wood. Based on how far it was dragging behind it's bearer, it was about ten feet long. The crossbars were square block-like construction about 6x6 inches thick. At the bottom of the cross was a set of wheels.

Wheels you say? Yes, wheels. Nice sturdy rubber wheels. Herein lies my perplexity with the scene unfolding before me. I know a little about the "Real Cross-Carrying Dude". I know He was pretty worn out before even being forced to carry His cross. I know He did this somewhat unwillingly, or at least with grave hesitation. I know His cross was not quite so finely sawn. And I, absolutely, without one teeny tiny doubt, know His cross had no wheels. Nope, not even one rickety one. Not even an itty bitty wheel. No wheels, no where, no how.

So this brings me to my possible question above...what in the world is this guy-with-cross doing? What is he trying to say? Trying to prove? What is his motivation? Well, I'm going to be generous in my theory of this situation. Of the above-mentioned Cross facts I know, I'm giving 71st Street TCG (Tulsa Cross Guy) huge benefit of the doubt and I'm offering him three...yes, THREE of the above mentioned similarities:

Perhaps TCG was tired. Maybe he'd had a really bad day before, exhausted from work pressures, overwhelmed with life's curveballs. Heck, maybe he'd even been beat up a little. Who knows. Again, just trying to give benefit of the doubt here.

In some weird way, maybe he was being forced to do this. Maybe TCG felt his calling was to cross carry down 71st Street. Maybe someone was blackmailing him. Maybe he lost a bet. Again, no way to tell for certain, but it could be entirely possible that he was in no way a willing participant in all this. (Not quite sure how one would prove that, but we'll go with it being a possibility)

Finely sawn wood is what I believe TCG's cross wood was, but I've got to give an out on two counts here. Maybe TCG's cross was prickly and splintering and rough. It very well could have been. Remember, gawking at 40 mph does not necessarily give you the most accurate perception. Or, and I find this far more unlikely, could it be that MFCG's (Most Famous Cross Guy's) cross had been sanded down a touch. Maybe there was a sympathetic follower who smoothed out some of the rough edges as a form of compassion. I should probably know this one, but I don't. Regardless, I'm giving TCG the benefit of the doubt here also.

BUT WHEELS??? Nope, NO WAY MFCG definately did not have wheels on the cross He beared. No discussion, no questioning, no doubt.

So that leads us to exactly what is TCG trying to say? I think we must assume that he, in some way, is trying to emulate MFCG. I'm guessing there is some statement of "...man, can you believe MFCG did this way back when?", or maybe it's more "please know that there was this guy who's done this before". But context??? Could we have a little context please? I mean I believe, have faith in and fully acknowledge MFCG life and death and the redemption I believe comes from that. But for those who are a little less faithful, perhaps, no faith at all or maybe even totally clueless to the whole cross thing, then this could have been just a smidge confusing, dontcha think? And, if you are trying to sway the masses, wouldn't you try a bit more authenticity? Maybe a robe of some sort. Some sandals? Longer hair. Rougher terrain. And yeah TCG--ditch the wheels.

I mean...come onnnnnn. You have got to be kidding! WHEELS? If the whole cross thing wasn't enough, then the wheels just sent the whole deal into "uh-huh" mode. I ain't believin' anything you got to say dude. No pain, no gain. In fact the more I think about it, the more I think this was insulting. What a cheat. I guess if MFCG isn't your deal, then the wheels seem logical;
"I'm going to go out in Tulsa today and try and prove some insane point and, hey...I know...I think I'm going to carry a giant cross to help prove that whacked out point of mine. But man...that cross thing is gonna be a drag to carry around...HEY PHIL...Phil, you got any small wheels in your shop? You mind putting some on my big giant cross here? That'll make it a whole lot easier to lug around today"

But to me it's like saying "yeah, see this little kitty, it's really a mean tiger" or "hey, wanna go work out?" and you meet at the icecream shop instead or "I want to tell you a story about Cinderella, but she's really an heiress when she starts out." It's bastardizing the story. It's saying I want to tell you about something really special, something I really believe in, but you know...I want to leave out all the tough parts. I don't want it to be so hard for me to tell, and I sure hope you get the point.

It is entirely possible that I am making too much out of Tulsa Cross Guy. At first I thought, how odd. Maybe he needed a job. Maybe this was his way of making 71st Street drivers think about Most Famous Cross Guy that day. It made me think about it. And then I wondered if those wheels got going very quickly down that really steep hill if TCG would stumble, fall into traffic and get run over. Nahhhh, I think even MFCG would save him from that peril. In an odd sort of way I'm glad that the real MOST FAMOUS CROSS GUY didn't have wheels. No doubt wheels would have been nice--but I think it would have changed up His story a bit.