A Letter To My Son--

Tomorrow you will be getting married.

Yesterday you came into this world in a big heap of curly-headed preciousness.  You are still precious.

I have been extremely blessed that God picked me to be your mom.  You have not always been easy.  You have challenged me and made me angry and made me sad, much the same as I have you.  But mostly you have challenged me to be a better person--to be a better mother, to strive to be more patient, to open my mind and heart to possibilities that I was unfamiliar with, to be more gentle, to laugh a lot more, to hold in more regard the time we are given, to try and understand more deeply the feelings of others.  Those are things you did for me and I am grateful.

As much as we hear people say "they grew up so fast", it is true.  You have.  You have grown up far faster than I was prepared for.  You have done things the way you wanted...since you were three.  You have failed in a few and succeeded in most.  I have wanted to be there to catch you when you fall, to help you up when you were down and to wrap my arms around you and hold you like when you were little when you were sad--even when you didn't want me to.  But, in recent years I haven't.  I have tried to support and advise and comfort in a way that you would appreciate.  In a way that would lend itself to you learning on your own.  And I think you have.

I believe that however quickly you have grown, you have grown into a responsible, intelligent, personable, kind-hearted, hard-working, talented young man.  I believe you can do anything you set your mind to.  I believe that you can pick yourself up after a fall, to help yourself when you are down and to understand the gift of God's love when you are sad and alone.  I believe you are, not only my child, but one of God's children.  I believe you are destined for happiness and contentment as long as you simply do what's right.  I believe that the very worst thing is to have regrets, and if you always try to do what's right you will never have regrets.

Now you are moving on to another chapter of your life.  You will be sharing your entire life with another young lady.  You will start each day and end each day together.  Together, you will have joyous times, wonderful experiences, happy days, memorable events and special connections.  Those are the sweetness of married life--hold on to them with her and cherish them together.  Regardless of how small, they are all equal in their importance in your marriage.  Together, you will also have heartache, sorrow, anger, fear, hurt, pain and frustration.  Those are the challenges of marriage and of a meaningful life together.  These are the things that require great resolve in your dedication and devotion to each other and to your married life together.  These are the things that will bond you far more than the happy times.  These are things that will make you strong and resilient and faithful.  These are the things that will require you to be patient,  gentle, understanding and to have an open mind and heart.  The conflicts and hard times are what you will look back on as your greatest lessons.  These are the times that you need to ask for help from God and then, later, thank Him for your getting through those times as well.

Keeping God in your life will help your marriage more than any one single thing--but since I'm your mom, I am thinking I have earned one moment of time to impart any small bits of wisdom I may have acquired over the years...

Pray - don't be too busy.
Ask for help - don't be too proud
Forgive and ask for forgiveness - don't be stubborn
Be kind - don't be hurtful
Laugh - a lot
Be tender - don't be harsh
Allow people to love you - don't shut down
Be helpful - don't be inconvenienced
Give a lot - don't be selfish
Remember birthdays, special occasions and "to-do's" - don't be forgetful
Be cheerful - don't whine
Keep learning new things - don't get "stuck" in old habits

Always be honest and tell the truth with others and yourself - don't hide and manipulate

Work hard - don't be lazy
Be thankful - don't complain
Go to church - don't make excuses

Remembering that God and family are the two most important substances in your life and marriage, above and beyond anything you can imagine.  Both will always be there for you.

My speech is over and your day is nearing.  I am anxious and excited for you and your wife to experience all the blessings of married life.  I am wishing you all the very best that life together has to offer.  I am praying for you both--for both of your resilience, for your contentment and for your happiness.

But most of all I am telling you that not only will you always be precious to me, but your wife is precious to me.  She is precious because she has chosen you to live out her life with.  She is precious because she's your friend.  She is precious because she thinks you are funny.  She is precious because she is willing to help you and cherish you and sacrifice for you.  She is precious because she loves you. You have chosen well, and I know she is precious to you.

Ryan, I am so proud of the young man you have become.  I am proud of the husband I know you can and will be.  Enjoy your day--every moment, every person, every word...they will fade away in your memory over time, but will remain precious in your heart...as you remain precious in mine.

I love you,

Mom